I just wanna be yours, like they always say, never let me go
by madaboutcarla
Summary: Can he deny his heart the love it desperately wants to give her any longer?
1. Chapter 1

First thing I've written in ages, but a song (Never Let Me Go, by Lana Del Rey) inspired me. Hope you enjoy, reviews as always really appreciated.

Just to set the scene, it's December 2011, so three months since Carla's rape.

* * *

It was the Rover's annual Christmas Party. The Rover's was bustling with people, a continuous cacophony of chatter and cheer. Peter was sat sipping his orange juice contently, the obligatory arm draped over Leanne's shoulder. But his eyes were elsewhere.

He'd watched her slip quietly through the doors, her slim figure beautifully defined by the knee length black dress she was wearing, her legs endless in glossy black heels. He'd tried to catch her eye, shoot her a gently smile but she hadn't looked at him, instead heading straight towards the bar, ordering a large glass of her favourite red wine, and then another. He'd noticed.

The once confident factory boss had engaged in little conversation, instead resorting to sipping her drink and looking downcast at the bar.

Leanne was too busy chatting to Ken and Deirdre to notice her husbands gaze, fixated solely on her once best friend.

He felt a stab of jealousy as a man, younger than himself, and not someone he recognised, take the opportunity to stand beside Carla, his intentions clear from the way he looked at her hungrily. He shuffled closer, making his presence known, boldly letting his hand rest on her lower back, his arm snaked round her side.

In an instant Peter saw her demeanour change, her body stiffen as she felt his hand around her back. She straightening up, pulling away quickly, stepping back to distance her self from the man. Peter saw her face pale, her hands clenched nervously, unable to remain still from the shaking.

The man, obviously offended wore a embarrassed, angry glare.

'Frigid cow' he said loudly, letting others hear.

Carla's eyes were wide with shame, and Peter watched as she turned quickly, her shoulders hunched as she hurried towards the doors, her ears burning as she felt all the eyes, all the mutters centre around her. Usually she'd love being the centre of attention, she was used to it, but not anymore, not since that fateful day in September.


	2. Chapter 2

Really grateful for all the kind reviews, it's very much appreciated. Exta thank you to dipdipdipmyblueship as your writing always inspires me!

* * *

Within moments Peter was on his feet, but a firm tug on the sleeve of his jacket brought him to a halt.

'No Peter' Leanne's voice was full of authority, her eyes narrowed as she watched her husband's eyes flicker nervously between her own and the door.

'Lea, you saw what a state she was in, I can't ignore her' Peter said earnestly.

'Yes I did, but it's not up to you to go after her' Leanne said, struggling with her husbands consistent feelings of needing to protect Carla.

'Well can you see anyone else going after her? No, you can't. and I'm her a friend, so whether you like it or not, I'm going to see if she's alright' Peter said, shrugging Leanne's hand off his jacket and defiantly turning away from her, and walking towards the door.

'And why do you think that is?' Leanne said bitterly as she watched her husband disappear from sight and into Carla's life, once again.

She closed her eyes, hanging her head in despair for a moment before she felt the heavy thud of Ken's hand on her back.

'I wouldn't worry too much, you know Peter just wants to see she's alright' Ken said, though his voice conveyed what everyone was feeling deep down.

'Oh really, is that all it is?' Leanne said, cursing the tears she felt building up in her eyes.

All Ken could offer her was a feeble smile, unsure of what to say to console his daughter in law.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again thanks for the two new reviews. Sorry the chapters aren't that long, but I'm still getting back into writing and feel quite rusty! Any ideas of where you'd like to see this go would be loved!

* * *

As the cold December air hit Peter's face he was momentarily stunned. He looked around, seeing Carla, arms wrapped protectively around her chest, striding briskly towards the factory.

Without a thought he found himself jogging towards her.

'Carla, Carla' he shouted, catching up with her. She refused to look at him, but he could see the fresh tears rolling down her cheeks; she chocked heavily as she tried to suppress a sob.

'Oh love' he said stepping forward, and opening his arms out, waiting for her to come to him.

She resisted for a moment before the temptation of his warm embrace got the better of her.

In his arms she composed herself, sniffing as she brought a slight finger up to her face, wiping away her tears.

'He were right' she said, her voice husky.

'Who was right?' Peter asked her gently.

'That lad, I am a frigid cow, he only put his arm round me' she said, her voice full of embarrassment.

'No, that lad were nothing but a shameful thug' Peter said tightening his arms around her slim form.

'No, he were just trying to flirt, nothing wrong with that, I've done my fair share of that, I'm just a ruined women' Carla said pulling away from him, once again wrapping her arms around herself.

Peter looked around for a moment, before reaching inside his pocket for his car keys.

'Come on, we're getting you home' he said, beckoning her with his hand.

'No Peter, you go back to Leanne, I'm a big girl, I'm fine, I'll be fine' she said, trying to reassure herself just as much as him.

'I'm sure you are but you're not arguing with me, I'm taking you home and that's final' he said sure of his decision as he headed towards his car.

She was too drained to fight him, and defeated, followed him to his car.

He gave her a gentle, crocked smile as she settled into the passenger seat.

'Just remember, you're worth more than he'll ever know' Peter said, absentmindedly stroking her forearm with the pad of his thumb as he spoke.

As he turned away, moving his hand to the steering wheel, she couldn't help find the corners of her mouth tug upwards as his kind words touched her.

She found herself stroking the spot on her arm where his fingers had caressed her moments before.

'Let's get you home'.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you again for the lovely reviews! :-) I'd love to update my old fics but right now I have no intention to, and really want to focus on this one, which I'm hoping I'll be inspired to keep writing!

* * *

He watched the way her shoulders slumped a little, her eyes falling to the floor as she entered her flat, her 'home'.

'Look, why don't you sit down and I'll make us both a brew' Peter said as she looked unsure.

'You've done enough Peter, honestly, you go back to the party, you don't want to be stuck with me, I'm no fun' she said, sitting herself down on the couch, kicking her shoes off, letting her head fall back and sighing sadly.

'Well I think I owe myself a brew, and you've said how good I am at making them' Peter chuckled giving her a wink, managing to prise a small smile from her.

'Suppose it'd be cruel of me to deny you a brew then' she said, relaxing a little as he set about making them both a drink.

* * *

'There you go, Manchester's finest' Peter said as she gratefully took the hot mug from his hands.

'Thanks Peter, you're too kind' she said as he smiled at her, stroking her head with his free hand, letting his fingers run through her dark hair.

For a moment all he could do was look at her, into her eyes, but she broke the contact too soon.

He took a seat beside her, letting his arm drape over the back of the couch, sipping his tea in silence.

'You look tired love' he said as she yawned.

'I'll be alright, you really should be getting back' she said once more.

'Carla, stop telling me that, I'm staying here until I feel you're okay' he said.

'I'm fine Peter, I'm always fine' she said with a sigh.

'No you're not, I know you Carla, you don't need to lie to me' Peter said as he watched her lips pucker and her eyes shut, rotund tears spilling readily and rolling down her cheeks as she opened them.

He didn't say a word, instead pulling her into him arms, slowly lowering her head onto his lap, running his finger back and forth over the bridge of her nose, like a child, until her sobs had ceased and she'd fallen asleep on him.

Peter sighed, feeling his phone vibrate aggressively in his pocket. No doubt his angry wife ordering him home. He ignored it, letting his hand rest on Carla's shoulder as he felt her chest rise and fall against his knee.

He felt his leg going dead and reluctantly knew he'd have to move her. She'd probably be better off and more comfortable in her own bed anyway.

'Carla love' he said gently shaking her, she mumbled incoherently in her sleep, but didn't wake.

'Come on then' he said, lifting her into his arms, surprised by how light she was, and carried her into her bedroom.

He felt himself shiver at the idea of her and that monster, that vile rapist in this room together, completely unaware of what he was capable of.

Dismissing his thoughts he lay her down on the bed, pulling the covers up around her.

But as he turned to leave he heard her mutter something, and then again.

'Get off me, no, no..' he didn't want to hear anymore, her face contorted and fearful.

'It's me, Carla, you're okay' he said waking her from her slumber.

'Frank' she gasped as she opened her eyes.

'No, no it's Peter, it's Peter' he said, as her eyes, wide with fear slowly took in his face, relaxing.

'Peter, ...Peter' she repeated with a sigh of relief.

Peter felt his heart break, and found himself climbing onto the bed beside her, moving to lay parallel to her.

'You go back to sleep, I'll be here' he said, noticing she was shaking lightly.

This time she didn't resist, she nodded against the pillow, closing her eyes.

But her shaking didn't stop and he reached out, taking her hands in his and bringing them to his chest.

Her eyes flickered open and he smiled, shuffling up to her, so her cheek was resting above her hands, on his chest.

He could feel her heartbeat settle, her body relaxing against him as he soothingly rubbed her back, not a second thought about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Another huge thank you to dipdipdipmyblueship - she's been such a huge help in giving me a direction for this fic, so she definitely deserves a lot of credit (not to mention her writing is inspirational as per).

* * *

Peter watched the moonlight cast playful shadows, waltzing over Carla's face as the night fell. She looked so peaceful, her features now relaxed, the strained look she'd worn hours before having dissipated away.

It must have been hours later that she'd woken, still cradled in his arms. For a moment she seemed confused, but slowly the events of that night were reawakened and the cruel words that'd had been shouted at her flooded back causing her to shiver violently.

'You alright?' he asked softly, watching the way her eyelashes fluttered in the dark.

'I'm fine, Peter, what are you still doing here?' she asked, refusing to let him view her as anymore of a victim than she was.

'I couldn't leave you could I?' he said giving her a reassuring smile as she inhaled deeply and shut her eyes.

* * *

Looking back, he wasn't sure what exactly made him to do it, and part of him wished he could take it back, but he remembers the way she suddenly seemed so real, so right to him. It was as though in the one instant everything came to him, all the moments they'd spent together, all the words that had been said, the reality of the entire situation hit him and he realised.

He felt her eyes open, her lashes ticking his cheek as his lips made the first contact with her skin. He moved his lips down her cheek, until they were resting at the corner of her mouth. He didn't feel guilty. It didn't feel wrong. He felt completely at ease with his decision as his lips finally moved to hers, gently pressing against them, tempting them open.

And for a moment it did, her lips responded cautiously, unsure of his intentions, but definitely responding.

And then it all went wrong.

As he attempted to deepen the kiss, he felt her body suddenly tense. Her lips became unresponsive and he could feel her recoiling, trying to distance herself from him.

'No, god, no, I can't' she said, her voice full of fear and shame.

'Carla, I'm sorry, I should't have done that' Peter, cursing himself as he sat up, watching her push the covers between them.

Her hands were pressed against her mouth, preventing her sobs from escaping, but hey eyes glistened in the dark room, full of pain and hurt.

'I'm sorry' he whispered once more, holding a hand out apprehensively. He followed her eyes as they fell on his hand, and then ascended back up to his face. She shook her head, removing one hand from her mouth and waving him away, ashamed of her reaction.

'Go home Peter' she said, though her voice was muffled by her hand.

'No, I'm not leaving you, not now' Peter said getting off the bed and walking round so he was on her side. He noticed the way she flinched slightly, obviously more afraid than he'd first thought.

'I wouldn't hurt you Carla' he said, a lump in his throat as he watched her look away at the floor. 'Please.. I've just blown my only chance with you.. I want you to go' she said, her lips quivering. 'You haven't blown anything, Carla, you haven't blown anything, I shouldn't have done that, you weren't ready..' he said stroking her forearm. 'It were a mistake, you were confused, you felt sorry for me' Carla said, jumbling her words up as she spoke.

'No, no' Peter said shaking his head in dismay. 'That were not done out of pity Carla, I meant every moment of it.. I just got the timing wrong didn't I..' he said putting his head in his hands.

This time it was Carla who felt the pang of guilt. She'd been thrown by his kiss, in more ways than one. For the first few seconds she'd felt as though her heart would burst with joy, but that had quickly been replaced with terror as fresh memories, vidid flashbacks played before her eyes. She'd been waiting for that kiss for so long, and all she'd done was ruin it.

'I'm sorry..' she muttered, as Peter looked up. 'No, no don't you dare be sorry, I went too fast, way too fast, I didn't think.. I just couldn't hold back' Peter said as she cocked her head to one side. 'I thought.. why now Peter?' Carla asked curiously. 'I don't know, it hit me, all these past months I've been pushing it away, ignoring it if you like, and tonight I just realised I couldn't do it anymore, wouldn't do it anymore, I treat you like I treat alcohol, a bad habit bit your everything but that, you're my best friend, you've been there for me.. unconditionally.. and.. I won't do it any longer, it's time I was honest. I love you, I love you Carla'.


	6. Chapter 6

Once again, thank you for all the lovely reviews, special shout out to Noeme * Holz090 who both write so amazingly. Alsing this, and what I'm doing right and noou have the time, it really helps me get an idea of whether you're enjoying this, and what I'm doing right and wrong!

* * *

'I love you, I love you'.

She'd have gotten down on her knees and begged him to say those word three months ago. She'd have walked on burning coals. She'd have done anything for him to feel about her, the way she felt about him.

But as the words settled, like ashes in a dying fire, she found herself growing angry, and hurt. She'd waited so long to hear them and if she'd heard them when she told him how she felt she wouldn't be here today, a shell of the women she once was.

'You love me? You love me?' she repeated, almost spitting the words out as though they had a bad taste. Peter looked shocked, surprised at her reaction, a faint frown forming on his face as he watched her grow into a rage.

'How can you say you love me? You've barely seen me over the past month, you've not visited me once Peter, and now you have the nerve to tell me you love me!' Carla shouted, her fists curled, her eyes narrowed, her lips pouted.

Peter was visibly stung by her verbal attack, and was rendered speechless for several moments before he could think of what to say, and even when the words reached his lips all he could manage was to mumble a feeble 'Sorry'.

'Everyone is always sorry. They're sorry they weren't there for me, sorry I was raped, sorry they didn't believe me. I'm sick of 'sorry'. I'm sick of the pity. Because this is what this is Peter, it's pity. You feel sorry for me, you feel guilty, and you somehow think telling me you love me will make it all better. Well it won't Peter, it won't cos you know what? I'm really fragile right now, I'm really not strong enough to hear you say something you don't mean, cos you know I'd have killed to hear you say those words a few months ago, I'd have killed… and I don't have the strength now..' at this point it all became too much and she once again found herself breaking down, falling to the floor in a sudden floury of tears and sobs.

However Peter had to tell her straight, he couldn't bear to watch her crumble, watch her beat herself up and believe it was all out of pity and guilt.

By this time he was sitting on the floor beside her, taking the weight of her body as she cried loudly, her fists clutched tightly to the collar of his leather jacket as she buried her head in his chest.

'I'm holding you now and you're trusting me. You trusting me to touch you, not to hurt you, aren't you?' he noticed her sobs quieten slightly as she listened but she didn't respond until he repeated himself. 'Aren't you Carla?'. Whilst she failed to respond verbally she looked up at him and he knew the answer in her eyes.

'So trust me when I tell you that I love you. I've taken too long, I should have said it a long time ago but to be honest with you I've only just realised myself, only just let myself see what's been screaming in my ears for months. I should have realised long ago, but even if I had I wouldn't have had the strength to tell you, to end my marriage. But I'm telling you now how I feel, and I'm promising you from the bottom of my heart it's the truth and I'm not going to give up on you, I won't let you go' he said `as the tears streamed now silently down her cheeks and her hands pulled his body against hers.

'I'm sorry I've taken so long darling, I'm sorry' Peter said as he finally held the women he loved with no resistance, no distance between them.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the long wait. I hope you are still interesting. I am struggling a little, but dipdipdipmyblueship gave me the motivation to continue, so thank her :-)

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he'd sat there, with her body held firmly in his arms, but there came a point where reality hit him and he knew he had to return home.

He'd left her with a strong cup of of coffee a soft kiss to her forehead, promising he wouldn't be long, he'd come back.

And he meant it. He didn't want to run anymore. He'd spent far too much time ignoring the way he felt, and it pained him to realise if he'd accepted his feelings just a few weeks ago, the women he loved so deeply wouldn't have been rendered to the quivering, paranoid shell of the women she'd once been.

His stomach had twisted into aching knots as he took what seemed to be a longer than normal walk home. His lips were dry and his heart was beating hard in his chest; it was time to face the music.

He couldn't pretend everything was okay. As he walked in to his flat, to be greeted with at first, a steely glare, and then a bitter stream of anger and aggression from his wife, he knew it wasn't the time to lie, the time to cover up what he'd done.

'Before you ask, yes, I've been at Carla's..' he said once she'd calmed down enough to give him a moment to speak.

* * *

'We can't go on like this Leanne, we can't' Peter said as Leanne's face paled, her features drawn into a mixture of shock and disbelief.

'What do you mean, Peter, we're married, we're happily married!" she said shaking her head over and over again.

'I don't want this! I want something else, this.. us, it's not a happy marriage' Peter admitted as tears spilled from Leanne's eyes.

'W.. what? How can you say this, you love me.. you love me' Leanne said breaking down.

'I loved you. I did.. but things changed.. they do don't they Leanne.. they change and I've tried so so hard, but I can't do this anymore, I can't live a lie' Peter said feeling the tears building up in his eyes.

'It's her isn't it. It's that two faced fucking whore!' Leanne snapped, the tears suddenly ceasing and her upset being replaced with anger.

'Don't call her that, don't you dare call her that. You know what she's been though' Peter said as Leanne nodded, enraged.

'Didn't even deny it. So how long has it been going on? You get with her before she was 'raped'?' Leanne said mockingly.

'You know this is why I fell in love with her, and out of love with you. You can be so vile sometimes' Peter said disgusted with the way Leanne constantly made out Carla had been lying.

'Me? ME VILE? How about that slut of a girlfriend of yours. The one who's been chasing you like some desperate dog for months?' Leanne said feeling the tears returning.

'You know what. I wanted to do this in a adult manner, but you're not going to be able to cope with that, I'm leaving now, you can stay here as long as you want, but she needs me, more than you ever did' Peter said standing up.

'And what about me eh? What about your son? Already conveniently forgotten about him, about your family?' Leanne said breaking down once more, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks.

Peter spun around in a flash. 'No, I haven't forgotten about him. He's my world, he's my priority, but I can't pretend I'm happy in this marriage. Neither are you. It's strained, full of lies, there's no.. no trust' Peter said as Leanne shook her head

'We can get through it, we can, we can move away, just me you and Si, it could be perfect..' Leanne said desperately.

'Leanne, you know that's not true. It can never be perfect, not when I'm in love with someone else' Peter said as Leanne bit her lip and tried to stop the tears by squeezing her eyes shut.

'I hate her, I hate her so much.. she's ruined everything' Leanne said, though her words weren't clear through her muffled tears.

'I'm sorry.. I'm sorry' Peter said sensing he should go, go and be with her.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, so it has taken me AGES to update, I am so out of the loop with writing. HUGE thank you to dipdipdipmyblueship who has been amazing helping inspire me and given me ideas and inspiration! So credit goes to her! Also thank you to Noeme & You're My Right Arm who's updates recently have both inspired me to write!

This isn't the best update.. but I found it so hard to get into, I thought I'll never be happy with it, so here it is!

* * *

'You didn't believe I'd come back, did you' Peter said, Carla's body leaning against him as they lay on her couch together.

'Honestly.. I wasn't sure' Carla admitted, looking up at him.

A tilted smile formed on Peter's lips, 'Well, I suppose I can't blame you, I've hardly been honest with you recently, have I' Peter said as Carla shook her head.

'That doesn't matter now, I understand..' she said reaching up to cup his chin with her hand.

'It does matter Carla, it matters to me' Peter said as she sighed and kissed his chest, unable to respond.

* * *

'I need to ring Simon, explain..' Peter said, running his hand through his hair.

'No, you need to see him, this is going to be a shock for him.. he'll need you Peter' Carla said.

'I know, but I can hardly pull him out of his home, bring him here' Peter said.

'I didn't say that, but.. you've got to put him first, I don't expect you to move in with me on day one, you need to sort things..' Carla said.

'I know, I know, but I also need to show you that I am serious, that I am here for you' Peter said as Carla smiled gently.

'I know you are, god, you've just left your wife, ended your marriage, and all for me, you don't know how.. how grateful I am' Carla said unsure of her words.

'I love you, it was finding the guts to be honest, I am so happy that I've told you, that I can say it out loud, that I can finally hold you and kiss you' Peter said as Carla walked towards him and put her arms around his neck.

Peter let him arms draw her closer, kissing the top of her hair as he held her.

'We'll take this slow.. do it your way, okay?' he reassured her gently.

'Thank you' Carla said taking a deep breath as she kissed him.

* * *

'Who's that?' Carla said, hearing her buzzer, still finding the sound made her jump.

'Do you want me to get it?' Peter said squeezing her shoulder gently.

'No, no I've got to get it' Carla said, she had to be strong, she didn't want Peter to see her as weak, although that was exactly what she felt at this moment in time.

She got up, heading over towards her front door.. the door he pinned her up against, slamming her body against the door frame, his hands groping her before throwing her to the floor and violently assaulting her.

She shivered, the memories were still so vidid, so real.

'Carla Connor, who is it?' Carla answered, unable to hold the shakiness from her voice.

'Carla, it's Jennifer' Carla frowned. She hadn't been expecting her solicitor, and there was no news of Frank.

'Oh, hi, come on up' Carla said as Peter looked up.

'Who is it?' Peter asked, as Carla still wore a deep frown.

'It's Jennifer, she's my solicitor… you know, she'd dealing with.. everything' Carla said as Peter nodded.

'Should I go in there' Peter said gesturing to her bedroom.

'No, no stay' Carla said as she waited by the door for Jennifer.

She knocked lightly on the door, prompting Carla to welcome her.

'Oh, sorry, I was nearby so I thought I may as well come and speak to you whilst I was close' Jennifer said as her eyes scanned the room, noting Peter who nodded at her.

'Oh god, I hoped it wasn't true..' Jennifer said as Carla frowned.

'Is something wrong?' Carla said as Jennifer sighed, looking at Peter and thinking of what she had to tell Carla.

'I think you ought to sit down' Jennifer said as Carla looked at Peter, her eyes full of concern.

'Can you just tell me Jen, it's to do with Frank isn't it?' Carla asked desperately.

Jennifer nodded, 'Yeah, I had a call last night, a possible new witness has come forward for Frank' she began as Carla's face fell.

Peter shook his head, Carla's hand in his.

'How can he have a witness, and what for, she's done nothing wrong' he said angrily.

Jennifer's eyes met his and she continued.

'Leanne Barlow, Frank's solicitor called me last night, according to Frank she confirmed, or at least suggested that you and Peter Barlow had been having an affair all along..' Jennifer said as Peter bit his tongue and shook his head, whilst Carla sat in despair.

'How could she?' Peter said angrily whilst Carla gripped his thigh.

'I wanted to let you know as soon as.. Carla this could seriously effect your defence' Jennifer admitted as Carla's head snapped up.

'But it isn't true, I never cheated on him, I never had an affair, me and Peter only got together yesterday' Carla said, knowing deep down few would believe her.

'Frank is a little liar, I could kill him.. and as for Leanne' Peter said as Jennifer raised an eyebrow.

'So what happens now?' Carla whispered despondently.

'Well, the police will need to take a statement from Leanne, as I say, it's only Frank's word at the minute.. but he seemed pretty sure of what he said' Jennifer explained as Carla leaned into Peter who wrapped his arms around her.

'We'll fight this Carla, he is in the wrong, not you, even if we had got together when he says we did, it wouldn't make what he did right to you' Peter said as Carla shook her head, a tear rolling down her cheek.

'Yeah, but it justifies what he's said doesn't it, who'll believe me over him, I'm just a home wrecking bitch, I'm the liar' Carla choked back.


	9. Chapter 9

I haven't updated in a while, and I thought I ought to.

This particular update is probably going to be a bit of a filler and not my best, but I thought I owed to it two people in particular!

The first person is Cece because I pester her like mad and she always delivers such beautiful, thoughtful updates, plus she is just fabulous and requested an update a while ago. She also has frequently helped me with planning my chapters and storylines out, which I really appreciate, it's wonderful having someone so talented to help!

The second is Kat because like Cece I always pester her and she's updated one of my all time favourite fics several times recently and she's just lovely. So little bit of plugging for her - go and read & review her absolutely fabulous fic - 'Finding Nemo' - honestly, it's just perfection!

I will try and update this & 'You're More Than A Friend & Almost A Lover' more often, I really struggle with motivation but you've all left me some lovely reviews that I hadn't even seen - so thank you very much and I hope this isn't too bad of a chapter!

* * *

'This is stupid Peter' Carla said as Peter took her hand.

'No it isn't, we're together now, all we want is a quiet drink in our local, together' Peter said, trying to reassure her.

'You think that Stella is going to let us drink in peace? We're going to be the talk of the town.. and I don't need that, not now' Carla said as he paused, bringing her to face him.

'Darling, I'm with you, you can't hide away, why should you? You've done nothing wrong' he said as Carla shook her head.

'It's not what everyone else thinks' Carla said as Peter sighed.

'You know what, to hell with what they think Carla, they can stare and gossip all they want but it's not going to change the fact you're innocent and that I love you' Peter said, as a slight smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

'What if we see Leanne..' Carla said as Peter pursed his lips. He wanted to throttle his wife right now. He knew he'd hurt her, he knew she hadn't deserved this, but how dare she support Frank and go against Carla. She was helping a rapist to lie in court, to drag an innocent victim's name through the mud. He hated her for that. She knew Carla had been raped, and she knew they hadn't been having an affair, she just wanted to get back at them. Revenge.

'We'll ignore her' Peter said as Carla rested her head against his chest.

'I doubt she'll ignore us..' Carla said, defeated.

'Well she can mouth off at us then, she can say what she wants, but I'll defend you, Carla, I promise, we will do this, we'll get through it, you're not alone anymore' Peter said cupping the back of her head gently in his hands, feeling her hot tears dampen his shirt.

'Thank you' she said quietly, holding on to the one constant in her life right now.

* * *

'Get out, the pair of you' Stella said, her tone full of bitterness as she watched the couple enter the pub.

Peter squeezed Carla's hand tightly as she followed behind him, her head bowed in shame, in fear.

'We haven't done anything wrong. All we want to do is have a quiet drink, we're not here to cause trouble' Peter said calmly as Stella laughed aloud.

'Haven't done anything wrong? You've put Leanne through hell, you just up and left her for your shameless floozy of a girlfriend' Stella said as Carla glanced up at Stella, meeting her eyes. She felt so hurt.

Peter desperately wanted to defend Carla, to tell Stella she was out of order but he refrained.

'A quiet drink, that's all we want' he said in a low voice, aware the entire pub's attention was on the brewing row that was unfolding.

'Well, you can't have one here' Stella said sharply.

'That's unfair Stella, we're not the ones who have committed a crime' Peter said, rubbing his thumb against Carla's hand as he held it.

'You might not have, but she has, perverting the course of justice' Stella said, pointing at Carla viciously as Carla felt her heart drop. She knew Stella was angry, livid.. but she didn't believe her anymore and that's what killed her inside.

'I wouldn't lie, not about that, he did r.. rape me' Carla said. She hated the word. Every time she said it she could see him, his angry, red face, the sweat on his forehead, his knuckles white as he gripped her thighs and pinned them open, the way his lips were pursed so tightly, his eyes bulging in their sockets as he violated her body - her cries futile.

'No he didn't, I feel sorry for him, you and Peter should be the ones on trial, not him' Stella said as Carla turned away from her.

'How dare you' peter said, his face a picture of disgust.

'No. How dare you' Stella said as Peter shook his head, feeling Carla's hand slip out of his as she left the pub.

'Shame on you, shame on all of you' Peter said sadly, leaving to follow his heartbroken girlfriend.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you for the lovely reviews - especially you Kat, that was so touching and I really really appreciated it! Another thank you to the ever so lovely Holly who proof read it for me :)

* * *

'Carla, Carla, stop!' Peter said as he watched her walk down the road, as far away from the Rovers as possible.

'I need to get away' she sniffed, her cheeks damp as several tears slid down the gentle curve of her skin.

'Don't listen to her Carla, you've done nothing wrong, and I'l keep telling you this until you believe me' Peter said as he watched her chest rise and fall.

'She's right in't she though, I've hurt Leanne, and if I hadn't lusted after you Frank wouldn't have done.. it' she muttered sadly.

Peter shook his head. How could she think this, how could she believe it was her fault? He hated Stella for speaking to Carla like this. They might be in the wrong when it came to Leanne, but Carla was not the one to blame, not at all.

'That man.. that monster is the one to blame Carla, you listen to me, you're innocent, you didn't ever ask for what he did to you, let me get you home' Peter said, his heart aching, all he wanted to do was help her and he didn't know how.

She lent some of of her weight against Peter as he slung his arm around her, she felt like a dead weight, so defeated, as though all her energy was going into just getting through each day.

* * *

Peter gave her a lopsided smile as she appeared from the bathroom, her bathrobe wrapped tightly round her. A momentary flashback of her answering the door in her towel, her hair damp, her skin dewy; god, she'd looked incredible.

'I'm sorry about earlier' she said softly as she approached him. She longed for the spark that had seemingly been buried deep inside her by Frank, that spark that'd made her so sexy, so irresistible to so many men before. She wanted to please Peter, to make love to him, and right now she couldn't fathom anything worse and she hated this.

'Don't you apologise, I understand' he said wrapping his arms around her.

'Yeah, but you've left your wife for me and all I am right now is a moody cow, you shouldn't have to deal with it' Carla said.

'But you're my moody cow and I love every single part of you, so dealing with you is a pleasure, not a chore' he said kissing her lips very gently.

'You do know how to compliment a girl, don't you' she said lovingly, savouring the taste of his lips, growing used to this tender intimacy.

'I try' Peter yawned.

'You tired?' she asked him.

'Mm, a bit' he said as she pulled away from the hug.

'Let's go to bed then' she said as her hand fell into his.

'I'll wash up first' Peter said but she shook her head.

'No, come on, let's go and lie down, I just fancy a cuddle' she said with a slight chuckle.

* * *

'I'll wait outside' Peter said as Carla looked at him awkwardly as she came to undress.

She paused for a moment before speaking. 'No, stay Peter, you can stay' she said.

He knew she was uncomfortable with her body these days, she no longer wanted to flaunt herself, show her beauty off, she wanted to hide it keep herself under wraps.

He sat on the edge of the bed, beckoning her towards him.

He took her hands as she stood in front of him, starting by bringing her fingers up to his mouth. Gently he pressed a light kiss to her finger tips, letting his kisses move slowly down her fingers, over her palms and wrists.

Carla let out a soft breath as he moved his hands to untie her dressing gown. She felt safe, for the first time however, as she knew his intentions were nothing but kind, there was nothing sexual about the way he pulled the cords loose and looked at her almost naked body.

He couldn't contemplate what Frank had done to her, the thought of Carla struggling, terrified and unable to stop that man forcing himself inside her broke his heart and made him feel murderous. She was so beautiful and despite what people thought he knew her, he knew she was so much more than the person she showed to the world.

'You're so beautiful, so beautiful' Peter said in a whisper as he kissed her stomach gently, just above the hemline of her knickers.

She looked down at him, feeling slight butterflies in her stomach, a warmth inside her, for the first time since her 'ordeal', though she knew he had no ulterior motive other than to make her feel comfortable and loved.

He kissed his way up her body, avoiding her breasts, he didn't want to rush anything, he didn't want her to feel he wasn't willing to wait. He just needed her to know he was by her side.

'I love you' he said, pushing her dressing gown off her shoulders and holding her against him. He felt her body melt into his, though her heart was beating a little too fast for his liking.

He reached for the flimsy cami and black satin bottoms she'd laid out on the bed, dressing her lovingly, attempting to get her used to physical contact, show her that she needn't fear being loved once more.

'I don't deserve you' se said quickly, her head bowed so he couldn't see her. He lifted her chin up with his forefinger, only to see tears in her eyes. This was harder for her than he'd ever imagined.

'You deserve the world Carla, you deserve the world' he said, his words dissipating into whispers as he nestled his head against hers.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm afraid this isn't an update (though I do hope I'll have one up soon!) but rather a response to a comment left on this fic.

Now the comment left was actually a positive one regarding my vic, but it referred to one of the two stories I 'plugged' as it's called in my 9th chapter.

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who has left positive reviews for this story, I really appreciate it and it genuinely does motivate and encourage me to write more.

However, as I said, the review in question, although praising my own writing, also stated that it was a shame I was quote ' encouraging and plugging a not so great writer on here'.

If the comment had been about myself, I would have ignored it, however because it's about someone I not only consider a wonderful, talented, and really brilliant writer, but also a friend I feel the need to respond.

I won't specifically name the writer or the particular story/ fanfic the review was referring too, but I've also seen the same reviewer leave in my opinion a really nasty and mean comment on the story in question.

Now everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I don't think I, or anyone else would disagree with that. I think all writers on here know that their stories will have people that love the, and people that don't. That's life.

I also think constructive criticism is fantastic, and even if it's not what you want to here, if you don't like something in a story as a writer I want to know and see how to improve any mistakes/ areas people aren't enjoying.

However the review I read wasn't constructive at all, in fact I genuinely found myself getting upset reading this because I know the writer will probably take it to heart, and the idea of her being hurt and left feeling uninspired and unmotivated by this review that I can whole heartedly say doesn't reflect the majority opinion on this fic really upsets me.

Without wanting to be rude and target this reviewer, I really think you should think of how you'd feel if you received that review on one of your own stories. I'm sure you'd be hurt by it.

You're entitled to your opinion however I feel if you have nothing nice and constructive to say, just don't say it at all.

The fic in question is loved by myself and has motivated, inspired and really given me hours of happy reading. It is by far one of my favourites and I am proud to say that and will continue to appreciate and promote it.

I know others definitely agree with me here.

To the writer - you probably know who you are and I hope you aren't put off by this review, I genuinely believe in you and your writing and I'm praying that you won't let it bring you down.

In future I hope the review refrains from posting such personal and rude reviews.


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